I am a pro of thinking up snappy comebacks.
About an hour too late to use them.
Take, for instance, my recent trip to the chiro. Typical procedure is you get sent to a holding pen whereupon you grab one of those super sexy medical gowns on your way in. Once in the holding pen, you remove your shirt and put on the gown, which velcros in the back. The gown goes to about mid-calf.
I did this on my recent trip, but when I got in to his actual exam room, he told me they were changing the gown policy, and from now on, I didn’t have to change into a gown, I just had to be sure to wear a shirt “that he could lift up.”
Comeback #1- the one I would have never said
He can lift up my shirt any time he feels like it.
Comeback #2 – the one I wish I would have said
“What are you talking about? This is what I wore to work today!”
What do I do with these after-the-fact comebacks? It’s not fair to have to keep them in my mental reject pile.